Today we are going to discuss a vocabulary course on the family of others. Remember, in season one, we studied a family vocabulary course and I briefly explained to you that there are other words to learn when we want to talk about other people’s family.
Here we are finally and for this course, you will need to know inside out everything we have learned about honorary suffixes and the polite prefix お, this will be essential for you to understand this course. Indeed, when we want to address our interlocutor by talking about the family of the latter or a third party, it is essential to show respect.
To whet your appetite, I’ll start with a very simple word :
御家族 .
ごかぞく. Your family (is written very often ご家族)
We just have the word 家族 . かぞく which means « the family » with, placed in front, the Sino-Japanese honorary prefix ゴ. So, this will translate to « your family ». It is also possible to translate this same word by « your family » using the familiar form. In English, there are no real personal pronouns to express the formal form, unlike in languages such as French, Spanish, Portuguese or Italian. The second person singular and the second person plural are exactly the same.
That’s at least one thing anglophones won’t have to worry about.
Again, for all of these words there are synonyms. There are several possible terms, we will study a very large number of them, in particular the most used and the most coherent in the words that we are going to form. I am going to use the family members vocabulary course as a basis, we will use the exact same terms and each time I will give you the equivalent for the « other people’s family ». You will see, the most common words are really not that hard to remember. Finally, we will see on a case-by-case basis how the honorary version was created.
Okay, I’ll make a few comments, but know already that there isn’t a proper rule for converting all the words usually used to speak of one’s family to speak of the family of others with a certain honorific aspect. The words are a little different from each other, some take お or ゴ as honorary prefix, others take さん as honorary suffix. So, you will have to memorize them case by case by heart.
Note : in all the names where we have the Sino-Japanese prefix ゴ, I will write it in hiragana like this ご, because this is how it is commonly written in plain Japanese. I will also not color the prefixes and honorary suffixes as I did in previous lessons. I consider that you have now understood everything that we have seen previously.
Okay, we start with the word « my husband » which is said in Japanese :
夫 .
おっと . My husband
This term means « my husband ». You don’t put the possession with 私の . わたしの. And so, to say « your husband », we’ll say in Japanese :
ご主人 .
ごシュジン. Your husband
We have the Sino-Japanese honorary prefix ゴ accompanying the term.
妻 .
つま. My wife → 奥さん .
おくさん. Your wife
We saw the kanji 奥 in the course on spatial landmarks. This kanji means « the bottom ».
両親 .
リョウシン. My parents → ご両親 .
ごリョウシン
We just add the prefix ご en 両親 . リョウシン.
父 .
ちち. My father → お父さん .
おとうさん. Your father
We are on a super honorary word so we are on the traditional format お + KANJI + さん. Here, the kanji will be pronounced とう; it is a new reading that was created on this occasion, which is not a purely or Sino-Japanese reading of the father’s kanji. Its Sino-Japanese reading is フ, as in ソフ, « my grandfather ». These are words that were created as is and therefore you must learn them by heart.
I continue.
母 .
はは. My mother → お母さん .
おかあさん. Your mother
Here, same principle of super honorary words with お + KANJI + さん. And a new reading, かあ which is not the purely or Sino-Japanese reading of the kanji of « the mother », which we had already seen. お母さん . おかあさん, I don’t know if you remember, in the lengthenings course, at the very start of season one, we used that word to illustrate the lengthening in [a].
子供 .
こども . My child
→ お子さん .
おこさん . Your child
息子 .
むすこ . My son
→ 息子さん .
むすこさん . Your son
祖父母 .
ソフボ . My grandparents
→ ご祖父母 .
ごソフボ . Your grandparents
祖父 .
ソフ . My grandfather
→ お祖父さん .
おじいさん . Your grandfather
祖母 .
ソボ . My grandmother
→ お祖母さん .
おばあさん . Your grandmother
孫 .
まご . My grandchild
→ お孫さん .
おまごさん . Your grandchild
Of course, the words 孫 . まご and お孫さん . おまごさん can refer to a grandson as well as a granddaughter. Keep this in mind. Note that the word 孫息子 . まごむすこ very precisely designates the grandson and the word 孫娘 . まごむすめ refers very precisely to the granddaughter.
兄 .
あに . My older brother
→ お兄さん .
おにいさん . Your older brother
弟 .
おとうと . My younger brother
→ 弟さん .
おとうとさん . Your younger brother
兄弟 .
キョウダイ . My siblings
→ ご兄弟 .
ごキョウダイ . Your siblings
姉 .
あね . My older sister
→ お姉さん .
おねえさん . Your older sister
妹 .
いもうと . My younger sister
→ 妹さん .
いもうとさん . Your younger sister
Hope you recognize some words we saw in the first season in the lengthenings course. Okay, if you’ve ever read manga or watch anime, you probably already know these words.
And now to say « your twin (eithers boys and girls, or men and women) » :
双子 .
ふたご . My twin
→ 双子のお兄さん .
ふたごのおにいさん . Your twin
So, this might sound strange to you at first, but it actually makes perfect sense. In Japanese, there are no ready-made words to say precisely « his / her twin brother » or « his / her twin sister ». The Japanese always resonate according to « oldest brother », « little brother », « older sister » and « younger sister ». So, to clarify which twin we are talking about, we use the particle の of possession + « older brother », « younger brother », « older sister » and « younger sister » to give precision.
Well, in general, it is difficult to know with twins who is the oldest and who is the youngest. Moreover, even Japanese people rarely use this term, it is not very natural for them to say 双子の + [elder, younger...]. Most often, they will designate the person they want to speak by his or her first name by attaching the corresponding honorary suffix. They’re not going to bother with a fairly complex and rarely used twist.
Now let’s see when we go to say « your cousin », be it a boy or a girl, a man or a woman. If you remember your lesson correctly, you will know that the word « cousin » can be written in four ways depending on whether we are talking about the older cousin or the younger cousin; and that these four ways of writing are all pronounced いとこ. I put below the four different way to write.
従兄 .
いとこ . My elder cousin (male)
→ お従兄さん .
おいとこさん . Your elder cousin (male)
従弟 .
いとこ . My younger cousin (male)
→ お従弟さん .
おいとこさん . Your younger cousin (male)
従姉 .
いとこ . My elder cousin (female)
→ お従姉さん .
おいとこさん . Your elder cousin (female)
従妹 .
いとこ . My younger cousin (female)
→ お従妹さん .
おいとこさん . Your younger cousin (female)
We can continue with the end of the list :
伯父 .
おじ . My elder uncle
→ 伯父さん .
おじさん . Your elder uncle
叔父 .
おじ . My younger uncle
→ 叔父さん .
おじさん . Your younger uncle
伯母 .
おば . My elder aunt
→ 伯母さん .
おばさん . Your elder aunt
叔母 .
おば . My younger aunt
→ 叔母さん .
おばさん . Your younger aunt
大伯父 .
おおおじ . My elder great-uncle
→ 大伯父さん .
おおおじさん . Your elder great-uncle
大叔父 .
おおおじ . My younger great-uncle
→ 大叔父さん .
おおおじさん . Your younger great-uncle
大伯母 .
おおおば . My elder great aunt
→ 大伯母さん .
おおおばさん . Your elder great aunt
大叔母 .
おおおば . My younger great aunt
→ 大叔母さん .
おおおばさん . Your younger great aunt
Note: be careful, the kanji 伯 with its purely Japanese pronunciation お has nothing to do with the prefix of politeness お.
I come to the words that everyone hates which are much less known by the Japanese because they are used much less on a daily basis :
義兄 .
ギケイ . My older brother-in-law
→ お義兄さん .
おにいさん . Your older brother-in-law
義弟 .
ギテイ . My younger brother-in-law
→ お義弟さん .
おとうとさん . Your younger brother-in-law
義姉 .
ギシ . My older sister-in-law
→ お義姉さん .
おねえさん . Your older sister-in-law
義妹 .
ギマイ . My younger sister-in-law
→ 義妹さん .
いもうとさん . Your younger sister-in-law
Now you are here, I think that most of you will have noticed a small peculiarity, especially to say « your brother-in-law (elder or younger) » and « your sister-in-law (elder or younger) ». The Japanese have used the same kanji but they have affixed the pronunciations of « elder brother », « younger brother », « older sister », « younger sister ». So, the big advantage is that when speaking, you have no chance of making a mistake. On the other hand, in writing, things become much more complicated but, once again, this difficulty must be overcome.
When you talk about your own family to someone outside of your family
I give you an example below :
My mother → 母 . はは
This is the word you will use if you want to talk about your own mother, your own family. This is a word we saw in the vocabulary course on family members. We have an idea of modesty, that’s what I explained to you in the course on honorary suffixes. We speak of our own family with modesty.
When we talk about the family of others, for example :
Your mother → お母さん . おかあさん
This is what we have just seen, we have honorary terms to emphasize, to have respect towards the interlocutor when we speak of the members of his family to him. And it is also these honorary words that we will use.
Now when you talk to your own family
When we talk to our own mother, we will also say お母さん . おかあさん to have a respectful aspect like that when you talk to your own mother. In English, for example, it would be « mother », we call her mother « mother ». We have this somewhat respectful aspect, this way of calling his / her own mother. In this case, it is possible to remove the prefix お, simply 母さん . かあさん. So, it’s a little less polite but it’s still cautious. And this is valid for the other terms.
兄さん . にいさん for the big brother or 姉さん . ねえさん for the big sister. These honorary terms are generally used by children towards their parents, grandparents or elders in siblings. We have this idea of respect towards the members of their own family but hey of course it depends on the families. There are children who call their parents PAPA or MAMA. Of course, each family does a little as it wants. The words PAPA and MAMA are extremely used and very common in Japan. Finally, in certain couples 母さん . かあさん is used by a father to talk to his own wife and 父さん . とうさん by a mother to talk to her husband, this is possible.
That being said, if you ever want to emphasize these terms in order to show more respect, you can substitute the さん by 様 . さま. For example, when you talk about the other person’s wife in a very polite manner, instead of 奥さん . おくさん, you can say 奥様 . おくさま. You know it now, 様 . さま is an honorary suffix which is more respectful than さん. Another example, when a girl talks to her own father very politely, instead of お父さん . おとうさん, she can say as much お父様 . おとうさま. You now understand the idea.
For the record, maybe most of you know Lucina, the character from Fire Emblem who is also present in the game SMASH BROS ULTIMATE. To put it simply, in the game from which she came, there is also her father whom she calls お父様 . おとうさま. Note that we can also add an emotional nuance to these terms where this time instead of さん, we can simply put ちゃん. For example, a child who talks to his older brother : instead of saying お兄さん . おにいさん, he can say お兄ちゃん . おにいちゃん or just 兄ちゃん . にいちゃん by removing the お as we saw previously. Here ちゃん is both masculine and feminine, we’ve seen that initially it was an essentially feminine honorary suffix but, in this case, it can apply to both men and women. Using ちゃん on a person’s name implies a certain proximity, so of course in general it is used within the same family but we can also use it towards the member of a family of another if, again once, we’re pretty close.
We therefore have three emotional honorary levels with 様 . さま, さん and ちゃん. We can interchange the three which are moreover quite related. If I remember well, I spoke about it in the course on « Japanese Honorary Suffixes ». There are three levels : 様 . さま, さん and ちゃん. And then you should know that the kanji of 様 . さま can also be pronounced さん. In fact; it is also a purely Japanese reading of this kanji so 様 . さま would be a more polite version of さん and ちゃん seems to have been created from さん, it’s a さん pronounced in a cute way. ちゃん will be seen as less polite, and we also have an even cuter version of ちゃん which is たん which is used for children. So now, we have different levels of the same suffix on different levels of honorific or affection.
Now that this has all been explained, I would like to come back to a little thing we saw in the course on honorary suffixes. I explained to you how to say « Mister / Sir » or « Madam » in Japanese, by appending the suffix さん after a proper name. I also told you that there are other terms to add a nuance depending on the age of the person you are talking to.
So when we speak to someone who is not their own family, for example someone we meet on the street, when it is a middle-aged person, we will say :
For a man → 小父さん . おじさん
For a woman → 小母さん . おばさん
This corresponds to what we saw in the course on honorary suffixes. This time, I’ll tell you about the kanji.
When we speak to someone young we will say :
For a man → お兄さん . おにいさん
For a woman → お姉さん . おねえさん
When we talk to someone old we’ll say :
For a man → お爺さん . おじいさん
For a woman → お婆さん . おばあさん
Here, you notice that these six words are all words from the vocabulary course we just studied. In fact, in Japanese, you equate a stranger with a person of the same age in your immediate circle. For example, if you are talking to a middle-aged man or woman, you are going to assume that he / she is the same age as your uncle and aunt. An old, elderly person is going to be the same age as your grandfather or grandmother. And a young person will be the same age as your big brother or your big sister (assuming you have one).
So, it suffices to recover these terms to directly address these people when they are unknown. It’s also something we do in English. Maybe out of habit you don’t pay attention to it, but in English, an elderly person, for example an elderly man, we can say that he is a grandpa. Of course, we don’t know. We do not know if he has children, grandchildren, but when you meet old people in the street, you think to yourself that it may be a grandfather or a grandmother. The Japanese, in their language, will extend this idea to uncles, aunts, big brothers, big sisters to speak of a man or a woman of middle age or quite young. In general, all these terms are used by children who recognize much in the age compared with those concerned. There are some adults who also use these terms. Well, usually they do this to be a little friendly but it’s considered rather rude, so it’s mostly used by young people.
Also, be careful not to upset a woman by calling her 小母さん . おばさん. Again, in English we have something very similar : when we call a woman « Mam » when she would prefer us to call her « Miss ». In Japanese, there are women in Japan who don’t appreciate being called 小母さん . おばさん, they would rather we call them お姉さん . おねえさん. Also, to avoid making mistakes and upsetting your interlocutor, here is a very simple tip : when you call out to someone in the street, you simply say すみません « excuse me ». At least that way you are sure not to bother her about her age. You never know if her age is a sensitive subject for her.
Regarding the kanji, I don’t know if you noticed but they are different kanji than what we used for :
Elder uncle → 伯父 (older brother of one of the parents)
Younger uncle → 叔父 (younger brother of one of the parents)
Elder aunt → 伯母 (older sister of one of the parents)
Younger aunt → 叔母 (younger sister of one of the parents)
Grandfather → 祖父
Grandmother → 祖母
In the Japanese language, there is this nuance in the writing in order to distinguish well between the members of his own family and strangers (person who is not of his own family) but quite honestly, even for the Japanese, things get very complicated at that level. Many Japanese people don’t necessarily know all of these nuances of kanji, so they usually write them all in hiragana. Frankly, you are free to scratch you head trying to memorize all this if you want but already know that you are unlikely to find these kanji anywhere or the pronunciation will be given to you in furigana, so... that’s all.
You may have noticed it by reading manga in English or watching anime with English subtitles that the word 小父さん . おじさん is often mistakenly translated « uncle », when in fact it is not an uncle but simply a « mister / sir ». Just like お姉さん . おねえさん is sometimes mistakenly translated « big sister ». It sometimes happens that translators, for lack of attention or lack of context, make mistakes in their translation.
A quick word about the suffix ちゃん. In general, the suffix ちゃん is really reserved for people who are very young, most often children and especially young girls below adulthood. It is very rare to use it with your grandmother although it is possible, but you can also use it with your grandfather, although it is even rarer.
So, if you say 祖母ちゃん . ソボちゃん and 祖父ちゃん. ソフちゃん, the most faithful translation will be « granny » and « grandpa ». Of course, it is entirely possible to do the same with an old woman or man for whom you have affection and who are not members of your family, which will give 祖母ちゃん . ばあちゃん and 祖父ちゃん . じいちゃん.
I’m just ending by giving you a final version, a child version for these terms. When it comes to a little girl or someone else’s daughter, we’ll say お嬢さん . おジョウさん . However, be very careful because this term is also used by perverts to address teenagers giving them a very young connotation but, in general when it is used in this context, it can be perceived as very rude or even worse. And when it comes to a little boy, to talk about the son of another, we will use the honorary title 坊 . ボウ. We will create a super honorary word お坊さん . おボウさん which means precisely « a bonze ». And to differentiate the little boy from the bonze, we will use ちゃん and that gives お坊ちゃん . おボッちゃん. See, we have a little pause that crept in the middle of the pronunciation. お坊ちゃん . おボッちゃん concretely means « a little monk ». You know in English very easily a little girl, they say she is a little princess. Now, in Japan in Japanese culture, they say that a little boy is a little monk. This little phrase was born out of the influence of Buddhism in Japan, it sounds a bit funny : お坊ちゃん . おボッちゃん. It is an old-fashioned term which will be used mainly by the elderly and which has a certain connotation « children of rich families » towards the child towards whom the term is used.
I’m done ! This vocabulary course is finally over and it was incredibly long, but at least you are settled on everything there is to know about what to use when talking about your own family and what to use when talking about other people’s family, as well as all the possible and imaginable nuances to talk to strangers in the street, whether young, old, not so young... You end up with a lot of kanji to memorize, I know it’s difficult but you have to overcome this difficulty. Anyway, as with the rest, it is only through practice that you will be able to memorize all these new words.
And of course, there are no exercises after a vocabulary course so you can take a break for today.
As usual, review well, follow the same advice I’ve given you countless times before and I don’t feel like repeating over and over again in this paragraph.
Be brave !
Introduction